This week I am sharing a personal story… this is my Coming Out Story. Watch now!
VIDEO SUMMARY
For those of you who watch my channel, you know that I never talk about my personal life. But I think it is important to share my coming out story, because this is obviously a huge part of my life. I think the last major study showed that only 5% of the US population identified as LGBT. Gay people are a really small group in the population, and we will always be a small group. And it will always be hard to come out as gay, because you are saying to the world that you are different than 95% of the people out there.
I came out many, many years ago. I feel very lucky, because when I first started living on my own, I had the opportunity to have some great role models. These were businessmen who were smart, successful professionals… who just happened to be gay. I saw that it was possible that two men could be best friends, and be in a relationship together, and be romantic together, and build a home together, and build a life together, and that it was okay. That knowledge was a gift that has allowed me to live my life to the fullest.
But it was not always that easy for me. I grew up in a very conservative, religious home. This was the type of home where we would go to church three times a week, and read the Bible at the dinner table. I was really sheltered. I did not even know that being gay was an option. I did not know what it was. All I knew, was that I was unhappy, confused, and I did not know why. I knew that I was different, but because I could not make sense of it, I just thought something was wrong with me. What you do in that situation, is you just repress everything. All through high school, I never had a girlfriend and I never dated. All I did was focus on work and grades, because I knew that was my ticket out of there. It is funny now to look back at that time in my life and realize all the carnage that repression caused to my psyche. It took me years to work through the issues of all that time I spent feeling bad about myself.
As soon as I graduated high school, I hopped on a plane and moved to Los Angeles. I was in a new city where I knew no one. There was no family, no friends, and there was no expectations on me. It is always hard to start out in a new city on your own, but it gave me the freedom to explore who I was. The great thing about Los Angeles is that there is diversity of all kinds. That creates a great environment of acceptance. I made friends really quickly. And this was the first time in my life that I ever met a gay person. For me, it was that growing up moment where I went from a sheltered childhood, to being exposed to the diversity of real life. I was only in Los Angeles for about a year, when I came out as gay. I remember distinctly that moment one morning when I woke up, opened my eyes, and I had the realization, “Ohhhh… I am gay.” It was like everything suddenly made sense. For so many years, I could not understand my feelings. But because I had built a safe space, I was able to start to explore and accept that side of myself. I immediately came out to my friends. And it was not long after, that I went on my first date, and I had my first boyfriend.
This next part is bittersweet, because I did not come out to my parents for over a decade. I came out to everyone in Los Angeles when I was 19, but I did not come out to my parents until I was 30. I created this wall where I would not tell anyone back home what was going on in my life. It is unfortunate, because living a lie like that really damages the relationships in your life with the people who you are supposed to be the closest to. I am not sure I could have done anything differently. Sometimes life gives you a bad situation, and you just have to do the best you can. I do not think it would have been any better to have confronted my parents when I was 19 and forced the issue. And it was still difficult to come out when I was older. But it is easier when you are older, because when you are 30 and you have never had a girlfriend, your parents have probably figured out that something is up.
That is my coming out story. I basically moved away to a new city when I was very young, which made coming out much easier. But I did not completely come out to everyone until much later in life. I am not saying this is the best way to do it. This was just my story.
I feel so lucky to live in a country during a time where I can be openly gay. I have had an incredible life with so many experiences that I credit to being able to explore that side of myself. I have experienced love and heartbreak, and relationships, and community. These are experiences that I cherish so deeply. Whatever you might be struggling with in life, the one thing I would share with you is it is a beautiful thing to be able to live a life that is completely open, honest, and transparent.
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Neither Zach De Gregorio or Wolves and Finance Inc. shall be liable for any damages related to information in this video. It is recommended you contact a CPA in your area for business advice.