This week I explain my experiences with Horrible Bosses…
VIDEO SUMMARY
This is a hard video for me to make. I generally talk about happier subjects on the positive aspects of business. But here we are talking about one of the bad aspects of business, horrible bosses. But I feel this is an important issue to address, because it might help some people out there avoid some difficult situations. So we are talking about horrible bosses. And in the corporate world, this is something you will probably deal with at some point. And if this is something you have never dealt with before, and you suddenly find yourself in a situation with a horrible boss, it can be very confusing and frustrating in knowing what to do. So I wanted to share with you my perspective.
To start, I would like to make a clarification. We are talking about horrible bosses. All bosses exist on a spectrum from great to horrible. So we are only talking about bosses on the far end of the spectrum. You might have a boss who you have some mild frustration with, or you might disagree with their approach. I am not talking about that. I am only talking about the worst kind of boss, the horrible boss.
The reason why I feel like I’m qualified to talk about this, is I have had three horrible bosses in my career. I am not going to name any names. These all happened a while ago, earlier on in my career, so I have had some time to think about my experiences and gain some perspective.
What do I mean when I talk about a horrible boss? I am talking about very abusive behavior. This includes yelling at you, swearing at you, throwing things at you, stealing money from you, sabotaging you, bullying you, tearing you down and belittling you. That’s a horrible boss. It’s basically an abusive relationship where you have someone in authority abusing their staff. This is more common than you would expect in the corporate world.
Disney made a movie a while ago called “The Devil Wears Prada.” This movie was all about this horrible boss who ran a fashion magazine. I have got to say the boss in that movie was not that bad, compared with the horrible bosses I have had. And I also had to say that the ending of that movie I found very hard to believe.
So how do you deal with a horrible boss? There are actually a lot of business books out there on this subject. And in these books they tell you things like how to set boundaries and how to have effective conversations. I am actually going to disagree with this advice, and I’m going to say something controversial as I often do. In my personal opinion, the best way to deal with a horrible boss, is to leave. Just leave. If this is truly an abusive relationship, setting boundaries and having conversations is not going to do anything. You need to realize you have a choice, and by staying in that abusive relationship, you are enabling it to continue.
The common theme I want to get across is that you have control over avoiding this situation. I want to talk about my own experience. When I look back on those three horrible bosses, I willingly walked into those situations. I knew they were horrible before I ever started working for them, and I chose to put myself in that situation anyway. When I was first starting out, I was desperate to land that “cool” job. I wanted it so badly. I wanted to be successful, and climb the corporate ladder. So when these job opportunities came up, I really wanted them, and these horrible bosses took advantage of that. At the time, I had three assumptions in my mind.
- There are no better job options.
- I have to “put in my time” to get ahead.
- If I put up with my boss, they will award me with what I want.
These are the assumptions that I had, and now that I’m older and have more perspective I can see that those three assumptions were bad assumptions. It was those bad ideas that allowed me to willingly walk into working for those horrible bosses. And it took me three very bad experiences to learn my lesson, that you do not have to work for a horrible boss.
I want to take some time and pull apart these three assumptions, because if anyone is watching this who is just starting your career, it takes some perspective to understand why these are incorrect.
- There are no better options. You need to understand that there are a lot of different bosses out there. Just like I have worked for horrible bosses, I have also worked for some amazing bosses. I am talking about great leaders, who are inspiring and try to get the best out of their people. I have worked for bosses who have changed my life. Just realize you do not have to work for a bad boss. You should be seeking out those incredible people to work for.
- I have to “put in my time” to get ahead. No you don’t. A job is not like a jail sentence. Putting yourself in a compromising situation is not helping you get ahead. Having a specific job title on your resume is not as valuable as being in a job that allows you to excel and grow as a person.
- If I put up with my boss, they will award me with what I want. This is the biggest lie of them all. I walked into all those jobs thinking, “If I put myself through this, my boss will help me out, either through a promotion or a job recommendation.” You need to realize that is not what is happening. You might be thinking that, but your boss is thinking something different. Horrible bosses are selfish people. They obviously do not care about the people around them. So your boss is not thinking about helping you, they are thinking about using you for their own benefit. And you need to realize that distinction. Because whatever it is you think you are going to get, you are not going to get it. Horrible bosses are smart people. They know exactly why you are there, and what it is you want. They will use your desire to string you along, until you are all used up. That is what is going on.
So how do avoid this? How do you know you are walking into a situation with a horrible boss? There are two ways:
- People will tell you. When people hear you are applying for that job, they will tell you the person is a horrible boss. You might know people who work in that company or work in the general industry, and everyone knows who the horrible bosses are, because they have all heard the stories. So they will tell you.
- It will come out in the interview. When you sit down with a horrible boss, they will ask you questions like “I just want to make sure you can handle stressful situations and not get upset about it.” Or they might say “Just so you know, this job can be difficult and rough sometimes, and I just want to make sure you can handle it.” What these horrible bosses are asking you is, “I am going to be abusive to you, and I want to know if you are going to take it or not.”
So if both of those things happen, a red flag should go off in your mind. You will know ahead of time exactly what you are walking into.
My advice, is not to work for a horrible boss. Whatever you think you are going to get out of it, it is not worth it. I am just speaking here from my own experience, just the psychological stress you put yourself through is really damaging. Even after I left my third horrible boss, it took me about two years to work through the mental issues I picked up.
- I had bad habits I picked up from these bosses I had to correct.
- I had pent up anger I had to deal with.
- I had developed a lot of self-doubt around where I wanted to go with my career.
So working for these horrible bosses did not help my career, but in fact set me back. What you want in a boss, is someone who will enable you to grow and develop towards your career goals. Now that I am further along in my career, and have seen a broader spectrum of bosses from horrible bosses to great bosses. I just want to share my perspective that you do not need the horrible bosses. Spend your effort to search out the great ones.
So if you have had a horrible boss, leave a comment down below and let me know I am not the only one.
Thank you for watching. The best way to supercharge your business is through accounting and corporate finance. I release a new video every week, so come back and check out next week’s video.
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Neither Zach De Gregorio or Wolves and Finance Inc. shall be liable for any damages related to information in this video. It is recommended you contact a CPA in your area for business advice.