This week we are going to be talking about stress. This is another one of those things they do not teach you about in business school. But understanding how to deal with stress is so important to your career. I will be explaining in this video how to eliminate all stress from your life. I know people will say that is crazy. We are in the middle of a pandemic, unemployment is high, there is this crazy Presidential election. How is it possible to eliminate stress? Well it is possible, and I am going to tell you how to do it in this week’s YouTube video. WATCH NOW
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The goal of today is to just have a conversation about stress. Not enough people talk about this. Stress is an insanely huge problem in business. If you walk into any business and look around, everyone is stressed out. Stress is really bad for you physically. We know that it destroys people’s health, their ability to perform at work and take care of their families. Most businesses do not give their employees ways to deal with stress.
In this video, we are going to:
- Define stress
- Tools to eliminate stress
Let us start by defining stress. If you are going to deal with this problem, you are going to have to understand it. The first main idea about stress, is that if you are a high performer stress is a constant struggle. You need to realize that you will be dealing with stressful situations your entire career, so you better start learning how to deal with it and eliminate it. And this battle will be constant that you will need to stay vigilant against. The reason for this is that stress comes from uncertainty. If you are a high performer, you are always going to be pushing boundaries and trying to create change. You are going to always find yourself in new and uncertain situations. Even if you sat at home and did nothing, you would be stressed because you had no money. These stressful situations will find their way into your life, and you need to understand how to deal with them.
The second thing to understand, is that there is a difference between a stressful situation, and how you think about that situation. Just because the situation is stressful, does not mean you need to internalize it, and let it stress you out. The goal here is for you to remain calm, cool, collected, and happy, even if the world around you is falling apart. The way you make this happen is all about how you think about the situation.
I want to break down what is going on when someone becomes stressed out. The cause of stress is the difference between reality and expectations. Let us take a work situation. If a boss or a co-worker is stressing you out, there is a difference between how they are acting and how you think they should be acting. Maybe you think your co-worker should be nicer to you. You think the situation is unfair and they are being mean. You keep coming into work, day after day, into this horrible situation and you become overwhelmed with stress. Well you must realize, there is a difference between reality and your expectations. The reality is your co-worker is a jerk. Your expectation is they should be fair, and they should be nice. But that is not the reality. The reality is they are a jerk.
My point is that the stress you are feeling is 100% created by you. I know this is hard for a lot of people to accept. But the difference between reality and expectations happens 100% within your own mind. This is all mental. And if this is all mental, you have the ability to control it 100%.
In this example, it might seem to be an easy option to remove yourself from the situation. That might provide a short-term fix, but long-term it will not solve anything. Because we explained before that you will always find yourself in stressful situations. You do not want to shy away from stressful situations. You are a high performer. You should be seeking them out. The trick is to learn how to deal with the mental aspect of stress, because then whatever situation you are in, you will be able to handle it.
Let us go back to the situation with your co-worker who is a jerk. What you want in any situation is to be constantly making things better. If you are in a job, and you are working towards goals. If a co-worker is a roadblock to you, you should be setting boundaries, effectively communicating, maybe have a mediation, and maybe go out and look for a better job. But getting stressed out about the situation does not help any of these activities. There is a difference between the situation and how you think about the situation.
So how do you approach a horrible situation in a stress free way? I want to start with the easiest thing you can do. Find activities in your life that are stress relievers. This could be exercise, spending time with friends, meditation, playing video games, a hobby, a weekend trip. Everyone should have things they do that help them unwind. This will not 100% solve your problem, but it is a good place to start. A lot of businesspeople do not even take this step. So, if you can try this, you are already better than a lot of people out there. If you can spend a portion of your life engaging in stress relieving activities, you are going to be a happier person. When you are a happier person, your work is going to be better, your relationships will be better, and you will be a healthier person.
The next step is more advanced. You need to develop the self-discipline to control your own mind. The stress you are feeling is 100% created by you in your own head. You need to recognize that you have the ability to simply not let it bother you, and instead focus on the positive actions you can take in your life to reach your goals. If your co-worker is a jerk, there is nothing you can do about it. What you need to do is take all that stress and frustration you feel and surrender your frustration to the universe and let the universe deal with it. You have more important things to focus on. You really do not need to stress out about it. This sounds so much easier than it actually is in real life. It is so hard to let things go, especially if they are bombarding you day after day. But it is possible, and you can do it. And if you can control your own mind, you can be 100% stress free.
I want to take a minute and talk about alcohol. A lot of businesspeople use alcohol as a way to destress. You might come home from work stressed out and have a few drinks. The problem with this, is alcohol is an addictive substance. This is how a lot of people become alcoholics. The alcohol is relieving people’s stress in the short-term, but they are never really dealing with the mental causes of the problem. If you learn about the recovery process and how people treat alcoholism, they teach people something called the serenity prayer. They will recite this prayer over and over again.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
This is essentially teaching people how to deal with stress. You cannot change a stressful situation, but you can change the way you deal with it. This is talking about the difference between reality and your expectations, and figuring out positive ways to think through your actions. The outcome of this prayer is that stress turns into serenity.
Let me recommend one more thing for you. Go talk to a therapist. I always encourage people at least once in their life to go to a therapist. I will share my experience which was very positive. About ten years ago, I went to a therapist for stress. I was feeling so overwhelmed with my career. I felt like all the constant stress at work was like an enormous weight on my shoulders crushing me. I found a therapist, and I went about four times every couple of weeks. And then I never had to go again. It helped me so much. This therapist gave me techniques of how to think about situations in more positive ways. I found it very helpful to talk to someone. If you are feeling overwhelmed with stress, find a trained therapist to go talk to. They can help. I hope you found this video helpful. If you are in business, you are going to deal with stress. But if you work at it, it is possible to eliminate it from your life.
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Neither Zach De Gregorio or Wolves and Finance shall be liable for any damages related to information in this video. It is recommended you contact a CPA in your area for business advice.