My Sexual Harassment Experience
This week I discuss the important issue of ending sexual harassment.
VIDEO SUMMARY
I know I normally make videos on accounting. But I am sure you have seen all the horrible news stories coming out of Hollywood about sexual harassment. This is such an important topic, that I wanted to make a video on it, and I am going to share with you my own experience. Sexual Harassment happens to both men and women. The problem is that men never talk about it. I know I never talk about this. But I am making this video especially for the young men out there. Because you need to understand what can happen out there in the working world, and no one is going to tell you about this, and they do not teach this in business school. This video might make you uncomfortable. I know it makes me uncomfortable. But this is a moment in time where we can change the way business is done for the better. But it is going to require us to have an open and honest conversation about sexual harassment.
Many of you know, I started my career in Hollywood working on the business side for different film companies. You can tell from all the news stories what a huge problem this is. With Harvey Weinstein, I think it’s up to 80 women who have come forward. It is not just a problem with Hollywood. This happens in all industries. And it is not just women. It happens to both women and men. I was one of those people who never imagined I would have to deal with sexual harassment. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. And if it happened to me, it can happen to each one of you. So I have two goals in this video:
- Make sure you know what to do if it happens to you.
- Discuss what we can do to end sexual harassment in the workplace.
I am going to start with my own story. You have to understand, this happened a long time ago. This is important, because sexual harassment happens a lot to young people. They are just entering the workforce, they are naive, they are desperate for jobs, and they do not know what is going on. So I went through my photos, and here is a picture of me at my brother’s college graduation. My brother is a year older than me. I was still in college, but I was already starting to work at different film companies when I was very young. Not long after this photo was taken, I started working for Harvey Weinstein’s company. At the time, it was called Miramax. I worked there when they were making Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2. You have to understand, I was nobody important. I was an intern. I did not have a lot of access to see everything that happened there. I never even met Harvey Weinstein. But I do have to say, I never saw any signs of sexual harassment while I was at Miramax. So all these allegations must have been happening behind closed doors, because it is not like it was happening in the hallways. I would have seen it. The people I worked with were really good people, who treated me well, and I had a great experience working there.
I actually saw more signs of sexual harassment in other places around Hollywood. Not long after I left Miramax, I was working on a TV show. Now I am not going to be naming names. I know a lot of people are. But I am not doing this to shame anybody, and this does not deal with a big name celebrity anyway. I am doing this to show you what sexual harassment looks like. I was a production assistant, and what would happen is a production assistant would be assigned to a celebrity. It was my job to make sure they stay on schedule, that they have the right script pages, and get them whatever they need. So I was assigned to this celebrity and his friend. These were two gay men. We were on set together. At this point we had been shooting all day, and everyone was pretty drunk at this point. I was not drinking, but it is pretty common for celebrities to drink on set, because it makes them more outgoing. We were about thirty minutes from wrapping production when it happened.
All of a sudden, the friend grabs me and slams me against the wall. He takes his arm and pins it against my chest, and with his other hand, he reaches down and gropes my crotch. And he leans in and says, “Do you want to come back to our hotel room with us?”
I did not see this coming at all. And let us be clear here. This is not appropriate behavior for the workplace. I was just doing my job, and this is not the type of thing anyone should have to deal with. Luckily for me, I am a pretty strong guy, and I am very outspoken. So I shove the guy off and say “Hell no, get off of me.” I got out of there and I called my supervisor. What is really troublesome, is if this had happened to someone else, who may not have been as strong or as assertive, the situation could have gotten a lot worse.
I was completely unprepared for that situation. I did not know what was going on. I did not know what to do. And in that moment, all kinds of things go through your mind. You think, “Am I going to get in trouble for this? I am supposed to be keeping these people happy? What are people going to think about me? Am I going to lose my job?” I really want people watching this to understand, “Do not worry about your job.” Your number one job is to keep yourself safe. Here are the action steps to take when you are sexually harassed.
- Be assertive and say NO
- Get to safety
- Call your supervisor
If you do these three things, and get your supervisor involved, they can help you. I was really lucky, because I was working a lot at this point, so I could just jump onto another show, and not have to deal with this celebrity anymore. I know not everyone is in that situation, but you will still be better off if you involved other people who can help you.
How do we end the problem of sexual harassment? We are all business people here. We need to realize that we have a responsibility here. It is our responsibility to end sexual harassment in our organizations. You do it through leadership. If you get to a position of leadership, you need to say, “Not on my watch.” If enough people stand together on this, change will happen. I take a much stronger stance than most people on sexual harassment. Most people try to make distinctions between different levels of flirting. Is it okay to flirt? Is it okay to touch? Where do you draw the line? I take the position that none of it is okay. I even made a video four months ago on “Don’t date at work.” And I know that companies are scared to make such a bold statement. What I want to know is why are people hitting on each other at work? Work is not a club. It is not a social scene. You come to work to make money. There are so many other ways you can meet people outside of work, through clubs, activities, online dating, and through friends. If you take flirting out of the workplace, you do not have sexual harassment. It is that easy. The solution is there, but it will take leadership from our companies to stand up for that.
Thanks for listening. I have not talked about any of this for a long time. But now is an important moment, and we need to talk openly about this. If we band together as professionals, we can solve this problem. I do recognize that we are all humans with feelings and emotions. Things like love, passion, romance are going to be some of the most rewarding experiences in your life. But you do not have to do it at work. When you go to work, you should be thinking about, “how do I reach my potential, how do I accomplish great things, or how do I become more productive?” Nobody, men or women, should have to deal with sexual harassment at work.
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Neither Zach De Gregorio or Wolves and Finance Inc. shall be liable for any damages related to information in this video. It is recommended you contact a CPA in your area for business advice.